a line allows progress

february

2010-02-05T13:17:00.000-08:00

so much!
applying to go back to grad school
applying for financial aid
taxes
writing a 10-minute presentation
babysitting interviews so i can make money
(to pay for grad school)
school
after-school program
new mexico for a week
valentine's day
philadelphia for a weekend
for the conference and my 10-minute presentation
ahhhh!
it's good stuff
but a lot.
trying not to get overwhelmed!
this weekend we'll be snowed in
and i am only working,
except for when we go ice skating
with my students on sunday.
wheeee!

hard to swallow

2009-11-03T10:45:00.001-08:00

i think it's humbling
when a normal bodily function
like swallowing
becomes next-to-impossible.
strep throat,
you are not my buddy.

honey, where's the billy picture?

2009-10-27T17:26:00.000-07:00

stress headache!
quality review
smart goals
report cards
hours of overtime.
no time to breathe!
work,
you are not
fun for me
right now.
other than work,
things are happy
for me.
yay! =)

little mouse

2009-09-13T06:40:00.001-07:00

i had such an awesome day yesterday.
then last night
i had this dream
that i was on a cruise ship
and you were there, too.
i saw this little tiny mouse
and i was marveling at it
then you squished its head.
i cried out
then ran off.
just so you know,
i am no longer allowing you
to crush my little mouse.

new sunrise

2009-09-11T16:49:00.000-07:00

new apartment

new neighborhood
new school year
new focus
new outlook
new life.
oh, and new rain boots.
happy! =)

back to school!

2009-09-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

i can't believe i'm saying this,
but...
and i breathe a sigh
of relief.

pensive

2009-08-27T06:44:00.000-07:00

you can never really see
unless you take a step back
first.
yay for a week of
being productive alone,
seeing good movies
with friends
and
eating good food
with friends.
go see adam!

love

2009-08-17T15:29:00.001-07:00

please, can someone explain this to me?
my boyfriend and i recently broke up
after a year-and-a-half.
the last few days
i've been having conversations about love
with an ex-boyfriend
and friends
been saying i'm not sure if i can fall in love
not sure if i believe in it
and other things along those lines.
today i was walking through the city
and saw "paper heart" was playing at the angelika
(been wanting to see it, but i didn't know the premise...
i only knew that michael cera and charlyne yi were in it)
turns out that it's a documentary-like film
about a girl who doesn't believe in love,
doesn't believe she can fall in love
travels around interviewing people about love
starts liking michael cera
but then they break up.
fates, what are you doing to me?
and what are you trying to say?
i guess the fact that i'm not alone
in my thoughts
and questions
is comforting enough for now.
i really miss someone from my past right now
and he says he feels the same way.
maybe we really are meant to be connected
in some way?
i'm not sure.
but it's a comforting thought.
we always used to say that the fates brought us together.
maybe we weren't wrong.
maybe we're meant to be friends?

dear alaska

2009-08-12T20:33:00.000-07:00

dear alaska,

thank you

for waking

me up.

i definitely

needed that.

i really do

believe that

everything

happens

for a

reason.

the timing

for my trip

to alaska

was

~~accidentally~~

fatefully

impeccable.

pure happiness,

amazement,

and satisfaction

are feelings

i hadn't

come across

in way

too long.

thank you.

♥

valdez, alaska

2009-08-07T19:28:00.000-07:00

~~i could disappear there~~

i think i disappeared there

birthdays

2009-07-07T20:40:00.000-07:00

2004: japan
2005: japan
2006: japan
2007: japan
2008: los angeles

and this year
i will spend my birthday in

2009: alaska

yay! =)

it's summer

2009-07-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

everything's up in the air

and i like it.

2009-05-29T18:49:00.000-07:00

my last weekend in this apartment

i cannot wait to leave

i'll live in a safer, more fun area

a place where i can see some trees and some sky

much bigger apartment

and it won't be no 6th floor walkup.

i'm so psyched!

moving sucks

but i love it when it's done.

keep your eyes on the prize...

sunday night

it will be done

and i think

i will be much happier.

five days and five nights

2009-05-03T16:08:00.000-07:00

it's supposed to rain and thunderstorm for like the next five days

sundays, i am not a fan of you.

today was so dreary

rainy weather

heated conversation

sad movies

restlessness

and now school tomorrow

what am i doing this summer?

i'm moving in less than a month now

i should be throwing away 50% of my stuff

what of this do i really need?

a fistfight kind of day

2009-04-30T18:22:00.000-07:00

today i had to break up a fistfight inside my classroom

i told them to stop and they didn't

so i pulled them off each other

but apparently they were magnetized

because they got pulled back together

and resumed throwing punches at each other

around me

so i had to pull them (much further) apart again.

what are you doing?

you are small 9-year-old boys.

after that, i had my kids paint all afternoon.

art therapy of sorts.

i'm exhausted.

also, in one month i will officially be living

in an amazing apartment

in a different borough

where i can see the sky and the stars.

what a perplexing, exhausting, and in the end,

satisfying day.

"but i can only make a dog."

2009-03-30T16:13:00.001-07:00

jeff and i went to the guggenheim on sunday.

i was exhausted and hungry and pushing myself to keep going

when we stumbled across a filmstrip playing light and static.

a small child was making a dog shadow puppet come alive on the screen.

soon some uppity-looking museum goers walked up

saw the girl

and started making their own shadow puppets.

more people came and did it, too.

this small girl unknowingly started a revolution.

jeff showed her how to make a bird,

and with a shrug of her shoulders she responded

"but i can only make a dog."

i liked that.

i think it was my favorite part of the whole museum.

upstate with family

2009-02-18T09:54:00.001-08:00

update

2009-02-08T11:11:00.000-08:00

we went on a day trip to hunter mountain yesterday for snowboarding
i needed to get away so badly.
the kids' behavior has been absolutely horrid for two weeks now.
i cannot wait for valentine's day and february break...only one more week.
field trip friday and valentine's day saturday,
then i'm headed upstate to my mom's for a few days,
then back to the city
so we can go to vermont for a snowboarding/exploring trip.
i've been having some weird dreams lately
about people from the past
but i'm done with them
and with the dreams, too.
i wish i could have one day to just read
and sip fun coffee drinks.

sometimes i love this city...

2009-01-05T21:44:00.001-08:00

brink

2008-12-21T19:05:00.000-08:00

my presents for adam went well
(dining in the dark and fuerza bruta)
we both had a lot of fun.
this weekend was good...
christmas present shopping in union square,
it's a wonderful life,
matrona's birthday/christmas party in bushwick,
slumdog millionaire...
now only two more days
and i am headed upstate for christmas!
then jersey for hannukuh
then back to the city for new year's eve
and luxembourg chris' visit.
yay!
please, let's enjoying the moment.

"it's snowing!!!"

2008-12-16T18:42:00.001-08:00

i should be working right now

2008-12-06T15:17:00.001-08:00

but i really don't feel like it.
my first book club meeting on friday was a success!
this morning we taught our online newspaper class,
this afternoon (3 and a half hours!) was spent with my cornell buddy natasha,
spending too much (justifiable) money
at an amazing indie book fair.
tonight is hangout time,
tomorrow is union square sunday funday...
outdoor holiday market,
barnes & noble (justifiable?),
trader joe's,
adorama to pick out my new camera!
at some point i need to do work and clean.
but right now i have chinese takeout on the way to my apartment
and a stack of unread books.
work can wait!

home.

2008-11-28T16:18:00.000-08:00

i've been trying to buy a new camera for the past few days

and adam's been acting weird about it,

telling me not to get one and to wait for him to come with me

then i found out today it was because he was planning to

surprise me with one for christmas

oops!

and i've been all stubborn with "don't tell me what to do"

sometimes i don't pick up on anything.

i got his present today

and i am excited.

i also

got some new clothes for myself at macy's,

took stampy outside to play in the brisk november air,

and played at the playground with katie.

tonight i'm going to read

and play scrabble with mom.

yay home!

omg holiday weekend

2008-11-25T17:24:00.000-08:00

get me out of this city.
i need fresh air
open skies
colder weather
family
time to read books
and no school
please.

update

2008-11-17T18:23:00.000-08:00

i have lost my voice.

real dream

2008-11-11T07:35:00.000-08:00

the other day i was talking to adam about an idea he has for a photo project
involving ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends.
that night when i was sleeping
i had a dream that my ex-boyfriend was teaching at the same school as me
he was walking with his kids through the hallways
and i was watching from afar,
feeling sad
because i knew i couldn't talk to him
then later i was outside on traver road talking to a friend
he walked by with a girl i think was his girlfriend
they were holding hands
he said hi to my friend
and i was staring at him
but pretending that i wasn't.
i woke up feeling sad and uncomfortable.

never gonna give you up

2008-10-28T16:57:00.000-07:00

today one of my students was having a rough day
and i cheered him up
by singing a few lines of rick astley's
"never gonna give you up".
it's kind of a long story.
can we say "teacher of the year"? =)

so busy

2008-10-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

i spent columbus day weekend upstate playing with my little cousin kate!
i think i finally got her to stop being scared of jack-o-lanterns.
(kris: "who loves pumpkins?"
kate: "i do!"")
we got to crunch through the leaves
and see chipmunks and birds in the yard.
whenever she gets scared she yells, "all done!"
now i'm back to the reality of the city.
tomorrow is the rise against/alkaline trio concert with adam,
this weekend is the fall camping trip.
the following monday is my first observation lesson
of the year.
so busy!
how is my little cousin trey turning 15 this friday?
i cannot believe how fast time flies by
all the time.
life.

a breath

2008-09-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

yay!
it's my time
for the first time in about 3 months.
no school tomorrow or wednesday for rosh hashanah.
i plan to go to a vegetarian restaurant, read,
watch the dvds i rented, clean,
go to the gym, grade papers,
and sort through stuff i don't need anymore.
finally!
"down here it's our time."
amen, sean astin
maybe i'll watch the goonies, too.
i can do anything! =)

grrr

2008-09-17T16:48:00.000-07:00

it was one of those days today.
first field trip of the year, and obviously
it was way too early in the year for one.
my kids were off-the-wall
and i got that frustrated feeling like
no one was listening to me all day.
i had to make like 7 phone calls to parents today
about behavioral issues.
then after school in In Addition
the kids were not listening to me either.
finally, in the midst of all of this,
the administration was not listening to me
just like always.
today my usual answer of "i do it for the kids"
was not enough for me.
i'm very thankful that i have a couple of people
outside of school
who do listen to me.
okay, tomorrow
what have you got for me?

school begins

2008-09-07T14:44:00.000-07:00

the school year has just started
and most everything has already proven itself to be different.
new grade, new classroom, new kids.
busy with school
and now,
busy with in addition (math after-school program)
and physics class on top of that.
i had an awesome packed summer
(physics class, amtrak cross-country journey, james visiting from australia)
but now i am very happy
to be busy and structured again,
especially with fall on its way.
last night adam and i ran through the hurricane rain to serendipity's
where we shared the strawberry fields sundae
and sugary drinks topped off with whipped cream, yay!
my downfall was always thinking way too much about things.
i think that maybe i have finally figured that out
and moved past it.